Table of Contents
Part 1 And in the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was "Dammit"
1 Are You Kidding Me? A Perimenopause Story 3
Choose Your Own Misadventure: Managing Your Menopause 11
Postmenopausal Punk 15
I Never Promised You a Rose Garden: Menopause and Puberty 18
Some Menopause Lingo 19
2 What Were They Thinking? 23
Bienvenue à la Fuckerie! A Brief History of Western Medicine and la Ménépausie 23
Along Came Hormones 30
3 The Menopausal Transition: When, Why, How, Where, and What the Literal Hell 37
Prelude to a Perimenopause: Periods and More 37
Perimenopause: Ride the Estrogenic Ricochet! 40
Menopause 45
Why Are Estrogen and Progesterone Causing Such a Ruckus, Anyway? 45
When Does Perimenopause Start and End? 48
How Do You Know if You're in Perimenopause? 50
How Long Does This Whole Thing Last? 51
Other Routes to Menopause 52
"Premature" Menopause or Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI) 53
Sudden Menopause 53
Oophorectomy and Hysterectomy 54
Temporary Menopause 55
Testosterone Use 56
Systemic Estrogen Withdrawal 56
4 Ya Basics 59
"Reduce and Manage Stress" 61
"Improve Your Sleep" 65
"Get Active" 73
"Hydrate" 77
"Quit Smoking" 79
"Get Social Support" 82
5 Doctor! Doctor! (Or ARNP! Or Midwife! Or TCM Practitioner! Or Not) 89
To Doctor or Not to Doctor? It Is a Question. And if You Do, How? 89
Hormone Therapies 95
An Everything I Thought I Knew About Menopausal Hormone Therapy (MHT) Was Wrong/Hormone Therapy Today Mashup 96
Hella Basic MHT Literacy 104
Placebo Power 112
The Menopause Market (That's Us) 114
Part 2 Brace for Impacts
6 Vasomotor Chaos: Hot Flashes and Night Sweats 121
Flashdance. Oh. What a Feeling. 122
What Are Hot Flashes and Night Sweats? 122
What Is Their Deal? 123
What Can You Do About Them? 124
How Long Will They Last? 127
7 Moods, Feelings, Mental Health Impacts, and Trauma 129
Why Does All This Happen? 133
What Can You Do About It? 134
When It's More Than a Big Mood 135
Mental Healthcare and More 135
You Will Survive (but It Might Not Always Feel Like It) 138
Anger, Resentment, and Other Kinds of Big Growly Pain 139
Sadness, Loss, and Grief 141
Shame 142
The Great Unknown 143
Yikes to Watch Out For 144
Menopause and Trauma 147
Will Mood and Mental Health Issues in Menopause End? 150
A Victorian Menopause Psychoanalysis Case Study (Mad Lib) 153
8 Brain! (Cognitive Impacts) 155
What Can Happen? 157
Why? 157
What Can You Do? 159
Will Cognitive Changes End? 162
9 Pain! (and Other Neurological Impacts) 165
What Kinds of Neurological or Pain Impacts or Intersections Can Be Part of Menopaust 166
What Can Help? 167
10 Guts to Gonads: Digestive, Urinary, and Genital Impacts 171
Digestive Impacts 171
What Can Happen? 172
Why? 172
What Can Help? 173
How to Eat 174
Will Digestive Problems Get Better? 176
The Uterus and Ovaries 177
Periods and Menstrual Cycles 177
What Changes? 177
What Can Help? 180
La Grande Finale (Ooh La La) 181
Genitals and the Urinary System 182
Potential (and Some Certain) Genitourinary Impacts with Menopause Oy, Why? 184
Oy, Why? 185
What Can Help? 185
"Use It or Lose It" 190
11 Bodies, Skin, and Looks 193
Your Changing Body … Yep, Again 196
Why Do These Changes Happen? 197
Lose Weight Loss: Dumping Diet Culture 198
What's Good Advice About Weight? 203
Skin, Hair, and Nails 207
Pretty Privilege 213
12 Sex and Sexuality 217
What Can Change? 218
What Can You Do? 222
A Few Words About the Clitoris 227
Ghosts of Sex Life Past 228
Sex and Drugs (and Maybe Midnight Nachos, Too)? 231
Toys! 232
This Is Not the End (Unless You Want It to Be) 234
13 Other People at Home, at Work, on Dates, and Other Places. How to Avoid Them When You Can and How to Deal with Them When You Can't (or Don't Want To) 237
Fire Escape 239
The Inner Circle 240
Accommodations and Adjustments 241
Don't Mind Me, I'm Just a Walking Open Wound 241
Kids. Oh God. Kids. 242
Dating in Menopause 244
Men(o) at Work 245
Great Big Menopausal Life 'Splody 250
Cloak of Invisibility 252
Part 3 You Don't Have Togo Home, But You Can't Stay Here
14 Are We There Yet? 259
Loss (or Not) at the Ends 261
15 The Maybe-Great Beyond: Postmenopausal Projections 267
Hello from the Other Side 270
A Menopausal (Very) Mini-Herbal 279
Appendix: Menopause for the Rest of Us (aka People Born with Testicular Systems), by Joanne Mason 285
Acknowledgments 293
Resources 297
Notes 301
Index 313